It is my last morning in Turkey and I’m debating what to write. Do I write about my experience, what I’ve learned, the pros and cons of this trip? Or do I choose another topic that has been on my mind? In thinking about this a little more, I don’t want to confine myself to any set schedule, topic, or theme and just let it happen. Again, I want to allow myself to have some creative freedom to explore more about writing and even more so about myself.

So with that, that leads me into this train of thought about reflection. Can you honestly say you have deeply reflected all aspects of your life? Have you taken the time to really sit down and contemplate where you’ve been, where you are now and the possibility of where you are going? I would guess that a majority of people have not, and wonder why that is? Have we gotten so busy that we have lost sight of who we really are as people? I can only speak for myself but, I have realized that I have a hard time acknowledging my accomplishments or rather acknowledging that I have had accomplishments. It wasn’t until last month when I decided to take a trip to be by myself out in the wilderness that I started to go through this process of reflection and self-observation. That process was profound in a sense of me slowly down enough to take a step back and say… “wow, you’ve actually done a lot in the past 10 years… and goddamn that time has gone by fast.” Even with that experience of being alone, secluded from everyone else I still don’t feel like I got to the core of who I am. I did, however, uncover some new life lessons and reinforce some old ones which I had more or less forgotten or pushed to the back of my mind.

I have been diving deeper into teachings of meditation, philosophy, and breathing techniques to help keep me centered and present, but I wonder how far that can take you if you aren’t able to acknowledge your past which ultimately has brought you to where you are now. I believe that knowing who we are, like really knowing who we are, by asking hard questions about our core values, beliefs, priorities is the only way to bring peace to the past and then allow us to be fully present. I could be searching for clarity, but then again, do we ever really find it? Maybe this is part of the “process” of self-discovery that takes us down the rabbit hole. Not sure, but definitely something to think about.

There’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately – communication as a whole but also language and social interactions. What fascinates me is how complex yet so simple communication is. You are conveying or altering thoughts, opinions, or information through verbal, nonverbal, and visual cues which are simple enough but really have complex layers that play out through our actions.

Paralanguage, the way something is said, rather than what is actually said can have a profound effect on how the conversation is played out. The voice quality, intonation, pitch, stress, emotion, tone, and style of speaking, communicates approval, interest or the lack of it. This along with body language can mean the difference of keeping an audience engage or putting them asleep. I remember being back in college and sitting through lectures that felt like absolute torture. Monotone, dry, and of course novels written within each slide. I can also remember those professors who commanded the room, their presence alone captivated the audience. Pacing back and forth, changing the tone of their voice to reflect important aspects of the lecture. Myself and others would be completely engaged.

I remember being a young coach observing one of my mentors giving a short “presentation” to incoming recruits. He had 1 slide which was actually a single sheet put up on an overhead projector. His presence alone would make you shut up and listen, but he was incredibly soft spoken under normal circumstances. But god damn, he could come to the room with his voice. Kids were hanging on each and every word, flashback to the Braveheart speech, I felt like I was ready to go into battle.

I think the point I’m trying to make is that I feel a majority of people have lost or haven’t developed all forms of communication. There’s a missing link somewhere with the development. Through observation of younger kids growing up in the world today with the rapid advancement of technology, social media platforms, texting, and whatever else that expedites normal processes essentially has people hiding behind screens and losing touch with actual in-person communication skills. People speak in abbreviations, even when they are in person and those who put on a certain bravado when communicating through the computer or phone literally shut down and cower when faced with an actually face to face conversation.

I’m just curious, what is the fate of our language and means of communication as we continue forward?

When I first decided I was going to write a blog, I intended to post something every day. As it turns out, that habit is a bit more difficult for me than I originally thought. I’ve been jumping around, feeling a bit anxious about writing and have to keep reminding myself that this is the reason I am doing this… to push myself out of my comfort zone to learn and grow. As a disclaimer, I know I am not a good writer but hope to work on that as I move forward.
I want to give some context as to why I am in Istanbul before I go any further. For the past 2 years, I was an assistant athletic performance coach in the NFL. With the end of a rough season, the coaching staff changed and most of the entire staff was let go when the new staff came in. Before that, I was an assistant in the collegiate setting for a number of years and had the privilege to work with some great programs in the SEC, Pac-12, and Mountain West. Throughout my journey in athletic performance, for whatever reason, I’ve always viewed the world through a different lens. I read and studied subjects outside of the traditional strength and conditioning realm and ventured into business, psychology, sociology, physics, neurobiology, architecture, history, philosophy, you name it. What’s funny to me is that I don’t feel that I have a very high aptitude for obtaining knowledge, yet my curiosity drove my passion. I didn’t realize how much this how profoundly shaped my view of the world until I listened to Michael Gervais’s podcast Finding Mastery where he interviewed Kriztina Holly, who was curator and host of the first ever TEDx and founder of two university innovation centers. She talks about how she believes to follow your curiosity, not your passions. Your passions will pigeonhole you into one specific area, whereas your curiosity opens you up to so many more opportunities and experiences in life. Instantly, this clicked for me.  Fortunately, for me what I’ve come to realize is that my passions revolve around knowledge and learning. What this has done is open me up to so many new opportunities to see the world and meet new people.

So, I am now in Istanbul consulting for an esports team (professional video gaming), helping them create a high-performance model with structure, systems, and scheduling for success. I have taken what I’ve learned and have repackaged it so it can be used in their specific context – absorb, modify, and apply. Am I passionate about esports? Honestly, no. But… I AM curious. And I know that by putting myself out there and learning about new fields will only help me in the long run. Opportunity is around every corner, you just have to be willing to remove your blinders and see what’s on the periphery or even see things from a different angle, and sometimes that’s just 2 degrees.

Well, here it is. My first blog post. I’m writing this as I drink my coffee on a balcony that overlooks one of Istanbul’s neighborhood hillsides. What brought me here? Or really, what brought me to writing this blog was choosing to act. Not to think about what I would like to do, but do actually just do it.

“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” Michael Jordan

This blog is about my journey as I set expectations for myself but also strive to live in the moment. Change is inevitable. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi makes a pretty interesting comment that the universe was not designed with the comfort of humans in mind, so what we do with life and what it’s chaos brings us will ultimately determine what we view as success and our own happiness. Do I believe this… yes, do I always practice this… no. So this is my attempt to put myself out there and hold myself accountable on this journey. This is to remind me to choose courage over comfort.